I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
This is classic penis vs brain.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
