Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
