I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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