Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
