when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
