It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
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