Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
