I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
