At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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