if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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