chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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