Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
