Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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