Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
