I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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