you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
