you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
