Are we in a gay sports bar?
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
