Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
