WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize