the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
