kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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