but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
