There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Everclear isn't food dammit
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
