Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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