Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
