While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
