His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
