I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
