you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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