So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
