Duck Duck Cougar?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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