Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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