i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
