Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
