There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
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