A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
