Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
