just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
