so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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