he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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