life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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