Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I am mentally ready for anal.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
