Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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