there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
