I'd wear matching sweaters with you
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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