THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
