I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
