"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
