i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
