I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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