And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
