Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I look excited, but its just a facade.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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