mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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