She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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